So, with everything that’s happened this week… I totally forgot about HNT and I just don’t have the drive to whip something up. So no HNT this week, sorry guys! I know, you were looking forward to more cleavage, weren’t you?
Well, I went to the visitation for Arielle. And I went to her funeral. I have to say, the funeral wasn’t really her… Despite the Phantom of the Opera music they played at the beginning. It was far too Episcopalian, it wasn’t the Arielle I knew and loved. And it was really strange to see a guy with fifty piercings on his face carrying her coffin up before the altar. But there were little things that brought her out. Her aunt actually read what I’d written in the online guestbook to everyone there. Got my name wrong, but that’s to be expected. It didn’t matter, the people who know me, knew that it was me.
The reception afterwards was actually really fun. Her parents catered it, since they have a catering company, with all of Arielle’s favorite foods. That girl liked some kickass food. I remember there was this rice with cranberries in it that she’d told me was simply amazing once, and I told her she was insane. Which she agreed to, of course, in typical Arielle fashion. Anyway, they had that there so I tried a big heaping of it. And you know what? It was simply amazing.
I met this guy Ethan too, he was pretty fun to talk to. I stood around chatting with him and Naomi and another friend, Alli, cracking jokes and stuff like Arielle would’ve wanted. He was supposed to drive us to Club Xile last night, but something came up so we had to find another ride. Which meant James!
Now, this James is nearly 21 and I’ve known him for like, 7 years. I went to school with him from 7th grade on. We were never exactly close, but I always knew him and always said hi or talked to him if I got the chance. So, I spent the day with him. Let’s not go there.
So we picked Naomi up at like… Uhh… 9? I think around 9pm and we headed off to the club, which was in Garden Grove. Now, Xile is a goth club that Arielle began to frequent regularly during the three months before her death. The reason we were going is that they were holding a wake, from 11-11:30 to midnight. So we headed off, me’n Naomi looking all scene and stuff. We didn’t mean to, but we got there and were like… “Damn. We should’ve dressed up, if only because we’re totally out of place.”
The wake was more the Arielle I knew. Cursing, shouting, general loud noises and hollerings, and plenty of crying over her and Chauncy Reed, her friend that also died in the car. And of course, Arielle’s parents were there dressed in full goth regalia. With her mother wearing what was basically just a bra. And her mom is… well, she’s large. But hey, she looked totally awesome. Even Arielle’s grandmother was there! One of the MCs, Raven, was introducing people to say a bit about the girls. And in the background, on the walls and on a TV screen, they were playing a montage of pictures of Arielle and Chauncy.
Yeah, there were plenty of goth kids crying, and I was crying too. I honestly regret not getting in touch with her when I had the chance. We had a moment of silence at midnight, and then they began playing Arielle’s and Chauncy’s favorite music from the club. I have to say, watching them dance was… interesting. I’ll have to like, videotape it or something sometime. It was… I can’t describe it, honestly, so I won’t try.
We left not long after that and headed to Denny’s for some food. I have no money now, I donated to the memorial fund and bought some dinner. I’m so going back next Wednesday with Naomi and James. I’m gonna have to get one of the club owners, Jim, to get me in though, since I don’t have an ID. It’s 18+ but I don’t have an ID. Damn. He got me and Alli in, since Alli is underage and… I don’t have an ID.
Even so, I’m looking forward to it.
Sounds like Arielle had a good amount of friends and those around her.
Garden Grove? That’s the town I grew up in.
martymankinss last blog post..The Nightly Visitor
Yeah, she did. She was loved by a great many people.
Really? I avoid Garden Grove lol.
Let’s not go there? *shakes head and walks away*
Winters last blog post..Thursday Thirteen the 15th-Post 100
@Momma;; I was the butt of far too many sexual jokes.
Glad to hear that you went to something that more represented yoru friend. It helps to remember them the way they were.
That is how I want to be remembered. No stuffy crap for me. I want a pig roast with lots of laughing and music. The more bad jokes told the better.
Arielle was raised an Episcopalian, and although she had a funeral mass, with the exception of some really unacceptable comments from her Aunt Jenna, the funeral was VERY Arielle. There was as much laughter as there were tears. The pall bearers were her nearest and dearest friends from Xile. Arielle had joined the Marine Corps but when there was a problem with her MOS, she switched to the Army, where she sreved honorably for 8 months before being discharged for physical reasons. Arielle’s visitation, funeral, memorial, and wake were not the least bit stuffy. Sorry if you weren’t more entertained. If someone didn’t really like her, or wasn’t really her friend, why the hell were they even there?
Karen, I do understand that your family has been through a very traumatic time. There is nothing anyone can say to someone who has lost a child. However, I feel that you have misunderstood some of my daughter’s remarks in her blog post.
My daughter said that the funeral wasn’t the Arielle she knew and loved. She knows full well that there were facets of Arielle’s life that she had no knowledge of. Her comment re the pierced guy who was a pall bearer was not meant in any demeaning way. After all, Motley’s own mother (me) has a number of piercings including a double helix. My daughter never said she expected to be “entertained” or that there was anything “stuffy” about the services. And both Motley and I agree that if someone didn’t like your daughter or wasn’t her friend, they certainly should not have gone. My daughter always considered Arielle a friend, even though they had gone in different directions in the past couple of years.
Motley never meant any disrespect to you, your family, or Arielle. She and I both work at a funeral home and have seen the many ways that families express their sorrow when a death occurs. I felt that the comment Motley left in the OC Register guest book was very tasteful, and more importantly, heartfelt. The fact that it was read at the service made my child cry, regardless of who read it or why.
As adults, we experience grief in ways that are different than children and teens. I remember losing a close friend at age 14… She was murdered and, to this day, it is still an unsolved murder in the small NoCal county I’m from. The grief and loss I experienced then, and in my memories of the event, are much different than the loss I experienced at age 26 when my parents died. My daughter tried to ease some of her feelings of loss by blogging about the experience and her feelings. She suffered guilt at not contacting Arielle recently when she’d been thinking of her. The fact that Arielle died on Motley’s birthday was especially hard on her. She will never have another birthday without thinking of her friend. In her heart, she will celebrate Arielle’s life with happy memories of her, as she celebrates each birthday.
Even for me, remembering the tall vivacious girl whom I used to drop at the library with Motley and Wes and other friends, brings a lump to my throat. You never know what hand you will be dealt in this life.
Karen, your family has our most sincere and heartfelt sympathy at this time. Please know that we will always remember Arielle and the friendship she gave to Annicka.
Winters last blog post..Shuffling
i just found this while reminiscing about arielle. the guy with 50 piercings on his face, that was donovan. he was one her her best friends, and is mine as well. i cant entirely blame you for seeing him and thinking it strange, but he was most deserving of being a pall bearer. some of my fondest memories come from being with arielle and donovan. i’m not saying anything in a spiteful manner, but i cant deny it saddened me a little to see that comment, while knowing that if you knew him, it would only seem natural.
Wow, I can’t believe I found this! hey Motley, it’s me Rachel
gosh I haven’t seen you in so long…anyway, that’s kind of beside the point.
It was really weird, but I had a dream about Arielle last night. I know I didn’t know her that well, and since she died I’ve felt bad about the whole Orlando Bloom joke we pulled on her for YEARS, but I like to think that she forgave us. The last time I saw her was when she came to visit the high school in our senior year, and she was as nice as ever. Even though she could be strange or annoying at times (as could anyone), she’d always struck me as very kind and accepting.
Anyway, so this dream was all kinds of crazy, but one of the things that stuck out to me was that I had found her phone, and I didn’t know it was hers until I heard her voice on a message, and it was exactly as I had remembered. I don’t remember what she was saying, or even if she was saying anything in particular, but my dream-self started to cry a bit, and when I woke up I realized I’d never really mourned her, and I didn’t know her as well as I would have liked to.
I guess that’s the way it is with everyone, though, you never know what you have or could have until it’s gone. So, for Arielle, the friend who was never really my friend, I’ll make it a goal of mine to get to know people, to not judge people, and to be kind.
So…that’s my story! I know I’m a little late to the party with this one. I wish I’d gone to the funeral, Phantom Of The Opera music sounds fantastic! (We’re playing the Troy soundtrack at mine…or my wedding
) and Motley! we should get together some time 
I’m pretty socially dead lately too. so email me or something! I’ve left my links ♥
Oh wow, sorry I never responded! I’ve been locked out of my site for a while, couldn’t remember my password lol. This post makes me sad.
I miss Arielle. I wish I’d known her later in life and not just in high school. I lost all my phone numbers and such, I’ll toss you an email or a message on facebook. 